Grief

In December of 2021 a young man named Steven passed away. Steven’s Mom (TF is what I call her in my blog) and I are close friends and have known each other since around 1998. We met as homeschooling parents and our children were good friends while I lived in Texas. Steven and my daughter played together then as did my son and Steven's little sister. We were only in Texas a year before my family relocated. Steven's mom and I kept in touch, intermittently at first, but with the wonders of modern technology, now we talk a few times a week. We even have a gaming night. This post is about Steven and grief.

When TF was trying to do things to prepare for the funeral she wanted stories. I'm not a good story teller, I try, but the memory needs to be close and I am seldom really good at reading people. Still I tried to come up with something. Then I asked TF what Steven's favorite childhood book was. When she told me, my first thought was, "Of course!" followed by, "I knew that." Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak is a classic children's story about childhood adventures, imagination, and love. Like the boy in the book, Max, when Steven was a boy he was full of energy. He could be found doing gymnastics, running, or up in a tree. He could also be found running up a tree to do gymnastics on a branch. Creating a wild rumpus is what he enjoyed doing.

Also like Max in the book, Steven had an imagination. He used his imagination to spin tales and to have adventures. He was a great story teller. Two years ago I visited TF and Steven told me a story of one of his adventures. He told his stories with his entire being. He was passionate and expressive and he could draw you into his story. He also used his imagination to better himself including starting his own business.

I don't know what happens when we die. I do know how the rest of those that a person touched and loved are left behind to mourn. There are so many feelings and many of them never go away. The sadness and emptiness eventually fade some, but are never gone. Everyone processes it differently and in their own time.

I don't know what happens when we die. For Steven my hope is that this kind, gentle, and loving young man has left the earth to have new and wondrous adventures in his afterlife.

A song about grief.